What impact can grief have..
My parents separated and were divorced before I reached my mid-teens and my family was grieving- all four of us grieved over the loss of our family unit that was now and forever more changed. Aged 17, I had seen my father wither and die (he was 46), having lost his battle with bowel cancer and so the Three Musketeers (Mum, my Sister and I) began a whole new grieving process.
An effect of grief is to think and act in a solitary manner and it is only now in my mid forties, that I realise the path that this earth shattering event set me on. With the loss of a major role model and the disruption of our family I became introverted in many ways. I went on to make all my big life decisions by myself and did not look to my family (who I love dearly and always have) as much as I might have for guidance. I started to develop skills around doing things by myself which was not always the best choice and kept me at a certain distance from others, which I am sure was not easy for my immediate family to understand.
I did not know how much I was suffering and from that point forward I was searching for greater understanding and I battled with tumultuous emotions and anxiety for much of the time, not knowing where they came from and I blamed myself for so much. I was very hard on myself.
Live 'Carpe Diem'..
Grief was a slap across the face that shook me to my core and led me to live by the mantra “Carpe Diem’, once my father passed away. I tried to pack so much into each day that I could easily fall asleep standing up. I was wringing life for all it had to offer and on reflection I know I burned up millions of calories just sitting with my thoughts racing around my head, let alone running, swimming, rowing, cycling and hiking my way into the ground.
At the same time I was accused of not listening or not being present in certain moments, but that was because I had full blown conversations going on in my head which was massively distracting and drove me to try and fit yet more in to life to silence them.
The relationships I have had have suffered from that inner war. I felt I created a wake that indicated the disturbance I had going on inside of me and those waves rippled out into my life. I would not change a thing, by the way. This had to happen for me to be here writing this. My journey formed me into the person and the coach I am today. I am far from perfect and have learnt a thousand times more from my mistakes than what I have done right first time.
Role models and leadership
I am lucky to have great role models and leaders within my family and in lots of areas of my life. I have always valued great leadership and looked to find my own vision and purpose.
As I learned to look inwards and control what I could control, I became my own agent of change and pursued a wonderful and winding life that sometimes had others questioning my choices. I was quite happy to swim against the flow, carve my own path and over the years people have gravitated towards me when they couldn't find the answers themselves or to tap into my campaigning nature to help complete a challenge.
Reflecting on my own journey has helped me to understand the Role Model and Leader that I am and how I can help other people. I use my core values to guide my approach in my personal and professional life and I feel empowered with this sense of belonging in the world which took a while to discover.
My sister introduced me to coaching in 2016 and and I completed my training and certification over two years. It had a huge impact on me personally and I found it to be the perfect vessel in which to bring all of my life experiences together to serve others.
My Core Values are Leadership, Campaign and Freedom
The Bear & The Fish
My Life Purpose Statement is. . .
"I am the Sherpa Bear and I help people to catch their fish."
My purpose is lived out coaching and facilitating using creative ways to ensure excellent communication with people to help them build the knowledge, skills and confidence to maximise their impact on the world.
When I am not coaching I am in the outdoors either in the hills, forest or on the beach and thinking up what delicious food I get to eat next.